Ask the experts

[Mary S]

Kristen,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback. I thought about going back but I forgot to mention that my previous position was customer support. >_> I like helping people but I feel very vulnerable talking to people on the phone. I’m 110% an introvert. I almost had to take the overnight shift because the call load was much lighter and there isn’t the same pressure to get through as many calls as possible. I was naturally good at it, but that’s because I have a great voice. Which I actually currently use in my current position helping make all the voice overs for our tutorial videos. (I’d love to do voice overs professionally as a side job, but I’m not really a Side Hustler. One job is enough for me. 🙂 )

The MUSE article was very helpful. It of course sent me down a rabbit hole of manager personalities. (My manager is so much like my Dad it scares me…and he’s only a year older than me.)

And thanks for the jumping pad for remote work. Now that I’ve got my goal salary in mind it makes it easier to filter. (Also, I did my homework this week…and in my course I reward myself with ice cream. >_> aka cheat the diet.)

Thank you again so much!

[Kristen W]

Hi Amber!

It’s amazing to see how much insight you’ve gotten into yourself and why your previous jobs always seemed to leave you feeling burnt out or unfulfilled. As a fellow “Fire-Thriver” (as Rachel and I like to call them), it makes perfect sense why having your own lifestyle business — something that’s YOUR mission and YOUR product/service, that allows you to build your schedule around your lifestyle and have no cap on your earning potential — is so appealing to you.

To answer your questions…

— I wrote a blog post recently about the value of bridge jobs (temporary jobs that are a “bridge” between where you are now and your bigger career goals) that describes some great criteria for choosing the right bridge job for you. Check it out here and see if that helps answer your question about an in-between job.

— As for how Rachel and I decided on our focus for coaching … well, I have LOTS to say about how we went about becoming coaches, choosing our focus area, and building a virtual coaching business — way more than I can share in this forum comment! If you’d like, I’d be happy to chat with you personally about the process of becoming a coach and how to choose a coaching specialty. You can use me as an “informational interview” about the profession of coaching, if you’d like. Feel free to shoot me an email at [email protected] and we can chat about it.

[Kristen W]

Hi Gillian,

It makes perfect sense that you’re worried about getting TOO focused on one subject matter (finance and billing) and, therefore, making it harder for yourself to move out of it. But I don’t think this is nearly as much of a barrier to getting a new job in a different field as you think it is! Yes, your main focus of this job is specialized in the finance world … but I’m confident that billing is NOT all you do all day long. You likely use LOTS of “soft skills” in addition to your technical knowledge. And those soft skills make you MUCH more appealing to other companies than you might think. Check out this article on why soft skills are so valuable and what constitutes a “soft skill.” Toward the bottom of the article, you’ll see two lists of soft skills (internal and external) — try jotting down a few examples of how you demonstrate these soft skills at work (and in your everyday life, too!), and look for jobs that value these. Focusing less on your technical skills and more on your soft skills will help you bridge the gap to a new kind of job in the future!

[Kristen W]

Hey Mary,

As a fellow introvert, I totally understand the extreme discomfort you must have felt in a customer-service position! Talking to people all day long (especially people who may be frustrated or upset) is incredibly draining for a true introvert. So I can see why going back to that position isn’t ideal for you! But I would absolutely try asking for a raise, using the recommendations in the Muse article (glad you found it helpful! 🙂 ).

I’m curious — have you looked into doing voice-overs as a full-time job? I know you don’t want a side job in addition to your full-time job (as a Thriver, that’s not going to fit with your values), but I imagine there must be full-time positions doing voice-overs. And you could possibly do it remotely, too, if you had the right equipment. Something to look into!

[SamanthaLenkic]

Hi Kristen and Rachel,

Firstly I’d like to thank you both for the impact the passion profiles has had on my life so far. I’ve almost finished the short course and I feel so clear on what I want for my next role.

I’m a classic ‘Thriver,’ I highly value balance and am not getting that from my current company. In past jobs where I’ve been happy, I’ve been able to work 9-5pm 90-95% of the time – with a decent lunch break every day.

I’m currently looking for work and have a few interview opportunities lined up, I want to know how I ask about my dealbreaker without sounding like I’m not willing to put in a few extra hours when is absolutely needed. The truth is, I don’t mind the occasional overtime – if I’m working on an event (I work in PR) and we’re getting everything ready the night before that is absolutely fine. Or if I get an urgent request from a producer at a radio station for my client to appear that night on their radio show at 5pm, again I’m completely ok with that – but when my company assigns me 20+ hours of work in a month in excess of my full time hours, I absolutely hate it and my health becomes really affected – anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc. This is what my current company is doing which is why I’m leaving!

So, how can I make sure in interviews this very important dealbreaker is asked without sounding like I’m not occasionally willing to go beyond what the office hours are?

[Kristen W]

Hi Samantha!

I’m so happy to hear that this course has helped you get so much clarity around what you want in your next role. That’s awesome! 🙂

I can validate that you definitely do sound sure of what you want — in terms of what WILL and what WON’T work for you — in your next job. You’re embracing your Thriver values and recognizing your need for balance and predictability in your schedule (at least MOST of the time). That’s great!

So then, it makes perfect sense that your next question would be how to ask if companies where you’re interviewing share those values. I actually wrote an article for The Muse a while back about this exact thing, which you can read here, that walks you step-by-step through how to craft the perfect interview question to determine if a company shares your values. I hope that helps!

If you have follow-up questions after reading the article, let me know. Good luck on your upcoming interviews!

[AmberDuffney]

Hey ladies! I have a question about Bridge Jobs. I have realized that a bridge job might be a great option for me in my transition to going back to school and then start my own business. I’m a FireStarter-Thriver and plan to start my own coaching business (thank you Kristin for all your wonderful advice on that). I am wondering where to start in the way of bridge jobs. Ideally I think I’d like something I can either do from home on my own time, or something I can work a max of 35 hours a week and then LEAVE it at work when I leave work! I’m in Canada and finding work at home jobs here has been a little tough as a lot of what’s coming up in Google searches are scams unfortunately. Any feedback or recommendations of jobs that have worked for other clients you’ve had that are Fire-Thrivers, would be awesome! Thanks again!

Amber <3

[Kristen W]

Hey Amber! Excited to hear how things go as you’re building your coaching business! 🙂

In the meantime, I agree that a bridge job would be a great idea for you as you make that career transition. While I’ve seen a variety of bridge jobs work for all kinds of people (including some Fire-Thrivers), it’s tough to give recommendations on the KIND of bridge job because it’s so different for each person. Really, it gets down to either what you’re naturally good at or what you enjoy (or, ideally, both!). Since a bridge job is meant to help you regain your energy & time (while still making money) as you work toward the next thing, you want to do something that’s pretty easy for you. For example, if you’re someone who’s naturally super organized and likes coordinating things/projects, then search for jobs based on those skills. If you love writing and can do it pretty easily, then search for writing jobs. If you love kids and they bring you joy & energy, then find ways you can work with kids.

I’ve had clients find bridge jobs of all shapes and sizes — office administrative work (that gave them some downtime to work on their own projects/business while AT work), working at a local gym (which they loved, & it eliminated their monthly gym fee), nannying, remote marketing writing/editing, transcribing, etc. — and the thing that made these jobs work was that it aligned with each person’s natural skills and/or interests. So I would have you examine your natural strengths, as well as things that simply bring you joy, and search for jobs based on those things to see what’s out there. Make sure to keep an open mind & think outside of the box! Sometimes bridge jobs can are things you’d never considered doing as a career, but they actually work out really well short-term.

Hope that helps spark some ideas for you!

[kaleiv]

Hi Kristen and Rachel,

I just finished your Short Course and I think it clarified a lot for me. I still don’t know exactly what I want to do in terms of a job title or company, but I am much more clear on what I want and don’t and why some previous jobs did not work out in the past (as well as why I went there.) After 15 years in the same industry doing pretty much the same job that was ok for the most part, I am now an involuntary expat housewife in a country where I don’t speak the language. When we go home I plan to start transitioning out of the industry I was in. While I’m an expat I’m trying to figure out what I want to do, acquire some knowledge to help with my transition, find people to do informational interviews with, and basically anything I can think of to prepare myself for the next journey in my career. The thing is, I am a tribe member primarily (with a healthy dose of thriver) and I am definitely feeling the drain of doing these assignments solo. What can I do to fulfill that part of me that wants some engagement? There are other expats around but everyone is doing their own thing or going on cultural excursions which I’m not opposed to but I really want to do things that help my career.

[Kristen W]

Hi Kalei! So happy to hear you’re feeling a lot more clear about what you want/don’t want in a career after going through this course. (Specific job titles are WAY less important than figuring out those deeper desires.)

First of all, I love how committed you are right now to making whatever strides you can toward preparing for your career transition once you go back home. You’ve got a great mindset right now about how you want to use this time productively while your husband is stationed in another country. That said, I absolutely understand your frustration about being in a country where you don’t speak the language, don’t have a core group of friends/family, and have a limited ability to network. I imagine it must feel pretty lonely sometimes! Especially for someone who’s primarily a Tribe Member. It’s no wonder you’re craving more engagement and community!

It might be just plain true that there aren’t many other expats around who can be helpful in your career exploration/preparation, but that doesn’t have to stop you from connecting with people in other parts of the world. I think it could be a great idea for you to find some people you’d like to ask for an informational interview (friends of friends, people you admire online, people you find when searching through LinkedIn, etc.), and then set up a phone or video call. It still amazes me that we live in a time when you can connect with people almost anywhere in the world (Rachel and I have coached people on every continent except Antarctica!), so there’s still a lot of connecting you can do virtually. And when you need some in-person community (because, of course, not everything can be virtual), you can go on cultural excursions with the other expats purely for the social connection without the pressure of making it relevant to your career, because you have other virtual contacts for that.

Just my two cents! Let me know what you think. 🙂

[kaleiv]

Hi Kristen,

Thanks for your response. You are absolutely right, it does feel lonely and isolating. And working on my career in terms of preparing for a career change when I get home makes me feel like I’m doing something useful, and helps calm my mind about making a mid-career transition. I didn’t want an interruption in my career, but I wonder if this time is meant to give me time to take a breather, decompress, reflect, and decide on a new direction.

I really like your idea of going on cultural excursions just for company, and separating that from career work. That way I won’t feel like all I do is clean and cook and go to lunch and museums. I don’t mind cleaning and cooking because I am taking care of my family, but I do mind that being all I do. I honestly believe I have left no stone unturned in terms of finding a job or some type of activity. I have been looking for months, talking with other expats, the relocation consultants, staff at the international center in town, doing research online, and there just isn’t much unless you are fluent. To give you an example, I have been rejected by two yoga studios because they fear I would hurt myself since I don’t understand what the teacher is saying. So, I started practicing at home and found a bunch of great videos online.

I also started teaching myself Spanish from online courses. It’s been an interest for a long time and I like it and it may come in handy some day. Without the internet I would probably go stir crazy.

Lastly, I loved your post on Analysis Paralysis, which I can fall into very easily. I’m trying to focus on doing instead of endless researching.

Thanks again!

[Kristen W]

Hey Kalei! Sorry for a super delayed response — I was on vacation for the last 2 weeks. I’m glad the idea to separate work from cultural excursions was helpful!

It sounds to me like you’re doing (and have done) as much as possible to see what’s available career-wise right now. You’ve researched, you’ve connected with the right people, and you’ve done the introspective work. And yet, as I was reading your message, I kept thinking, “Maybe this isn’t a time for working for you. Maybe — like you mentioned — this is a time to regroup, recharge, and plan for the next things.” If you gave yourself permission to NOT pursue working at this very moment, it could open up space and curiosity that may naturally lead you to the next right thing when it IS time to return to work. Just my two cents! 🙂

Oh, and I’m glad you loved that post on Analysis Paralysis! I definitely wrote from personal experience for that one. 😉

[LisaHeister]

Hello! I apologize in advance for the length of this post buuuut…. ???? I took the passion profile quiz and got Thriver. The results are dead on. I’m confident in saying they’re about 99% accurate. Nearly all the attributes, strengths, drawbacks, and challenges are true. I have a difficult time picturing myself going to work everyday for long hours doing something I do not believe in or that I may not be very good at. I believe the environment and culture of a job is important for comfort and growth. Lastly, financial stability is of great significance. I realize this more and more after previous research on my self and my current job as a server/hostess. (A job I do not care much about). I’ve done research that gave similar results as your course did. I did the “What Color is your Parachute?” Inventory which focuses on similar work related topics and took the Meyers/Briggs test a few times. I got ISFJ and ISFP back and forth. I believe I’m more of an ISFJ.

I’m trying to get more insight into who I am and what career I will be happy in. I’d love to have a balance of work and lifestyle. I don’t think a career is my passion, but life is. I want to enjoy it. A career I simply like or enjoy can help fund my lifestyle. This is a new journey for me mostly because I am newly divorced and on my own for the first time at the age of 30. I’m terrified and unsure of my new identity. I am now independent, currently at a job I do not care about, and I have a 7 year old degree I don’t remember much about and haven’t used. I’m close to paying off my school debt and the idea of going back to school is terrifying and more debt is even more so. I fear any of my interests may result in going back to school. Especially if 5 years down the road I decide I want to change careers again.

Any guidance or clarity would help: How do I figure out a career I enjoy that can pay well enough to fund my everyday needs and lifestyle? How do I move forward given my current life situation?

[Kristen W]

Hi Lisa! I love that the Thriver profile was so spot-on for you and gave you greater insight into yourself. That’s awesome! And I totally relate to the feeling that “life is my passion” — isn’t it so freeing to be able to say that??

It makes perfect sense that you’re feeling scared and uncertain about your next steps and stepping into your new identity after a recent divorce. Talk about a huge, emotionally charged life change!! Anyone would be feeling unsteady in that situation.

To answer your question … I’m thinking of 3 sections in the Workbook that would be incredibly helpful for you in finding a career that can support your passions and lifestyle outside of work:

— Visioning your ideal career (page 11)
— Job searching according to your values (page 14)
— Identifying your deal breakers (page 17)

Have you worked through those sections yet? I think they could be incredibly clarifying for you, and you may find that you don’t actually need to go back to school to get a career that matches those specifications after all.

If you HAVE worked through those sections and you’re still feeling unsure of how to start looking for a job that suits your Thriver nature, you may just need some additional support. This course is really meant to help you figure out HOW you’re meant to work (as in, the kind of working situation that suits you best). Our 2nd course, The Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is focused more on WHAT you’d like to do as a career — it’s kind of the “step 2” of this process you’ve already started. We’ll be re-opening enrollment for that course next month, so if that sounds like something you’d be interested in, we’ll be sending out announcement emails about that in the coming weeks. (You’ll get a pretty steep discount on that program, too, since you’ve already taken this first course!)

Hope that helps! 🙂

[kaleiv]

Hi Kristen,

Thank you for your reply. I hope you enjoyed your time off.

I think the best thing is to accept this is a time to not do the work I’m used to. And I can give myself permission to not work or look for work, it just bothers me because it feels like I don’t have a choice. I am not against time off, and I understand free time is a luxury. But I like to work, I actually miss going to an office and having people to talk with and projects to work on (in addition to a paycheck.) Some of my family thinks I am on vacation, but my definition of vacation does not include involuntary and unpaid.

I am trying to set a schedule for myself each day where I spend the morning doing X, and the afternoon doing Y, and calling that my “work” while we are overseas. I am trying to not feel resentful, there are some good things here and I am hopeful I will discover some new directions for my career.

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