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Hey Jen,
No worries! I wasn’t able to post in the PPSC forum for a while due to technical difficulties, so I’m glad I’m able to respond now (so far) with no issues. 🙂 I’m glad that, at the heart of things, it sounds like you *are* clear on what you want, it’s just a matter of being understandably sad to let another piece of your life, that’s clearly meant a lot to you, go. I think the idea to “leave no stone unturned” makes sense; at the very least, if flying out to CA doesn’t ultimately change anything, then you’ll know you did all you could.
Something I like to keep in mind in my life is this–the easier things come to you, the more likely they’re the right thing for you. The harder something is to maintain or make happen (particularly if it feels like running uphill, or pulling teeth, or forcing something into fruition), the more that’s a sign it’s probably not the right thing for you. And sometimes the hardest part is that we really WANT to enjoy the thing that’s hard; we really want it to work out, becuase logically it feels like it should. So, my nugget of wisdom for you is this: It’s OK to be sad if something you really want to happen just isn’t happening. It’s OK to mourn that and be angry about it, even. AND … have faith that if something isn’t working, and it’s just never easy, that maybe there’s something better, more fruitful, and more aligned with you out there. And allowing things to fall away that aren’t working creates space for things that will, even if you can’t see what they are yet, exactly. We’d love to know how things go, so keep us posted! 🙂
Hey Jennifer!
It’s understandable that you’re feeling drained and can’t bring yourself to do your work. It sounds like there are a lot of things in your life right now that are in transition, and you’re questioning everything, which is totally normal but also doesn’t stop it from being overwhelming.
So here’s a though experiment for you: What if you secretly already knew the answer, but your anxiety and overwhelm is just blocking you from tuning in? One of the premises that Kristen and I often operate on, particularly when we’re coaching someone 1-on-1, is that the client already knows a LOT more about what they want than they realize. So, when I was reading your post, when you started mentioning going into business with your husband and all of the ways to make that work, I started wondering if perhaps you *do* sort of know the answer, but it’s hard to discern from your current standpoint.
When you started mentioning going into business with him, it was almost as if the energy of your post changed. The tone became more hopeful, and it was clear that you have plenty of ideas about how to make this work in a healthy, profitable way. You’ve even thought about how to get your needs for connection met outside of him, since if you were to work and live with him 24/7 you’d definitely need other forms of human connection.
Here’s another thought experiment for you: Let’s imagine that you could make a choice, and no one would have to know about it. You could choose whatever you wanted, free of any outside judgment or influence, and there wouldn’t be any big, bad, negative consequences from whatever choice you make. What would you do?
Give this some thought, and I’d love to hear what you come up with! 🙂
