Reply To: Ask the experts
I’m not exactly sure how to approach this question. Without giving some long history of my life. I recently started working your clarity course because I didn’t know what else to do or anyway to find what I feel like I have lost.
Your profile categorized me as a firestarter which I completely agree with. I have never had any problems finding a job and even excelling at whatever I put my mind too yet I still cant seem to find my real “place”. I have worked several sales jobs, coaching, consulting, as well as technical work.
I went to school for creative writing and for a long time loved the art of language and emotion and how it could speak to the audiences consciousness. I believed my passion was writing and the arts for a long time.
My problem now is I feel a complete lack of passion. After what I will say was a completely destroying relationship for 4 years. I was constantly told in the relationship I wasn’t good at music writing etc. So in turn I haven’t wanted to write in any sense or even touch anything that would draw any emotion or passion from me. I am now 29 and feel like I have no time to dabble or soul search anymore. It seems like anytime I look back and ask what do I really want? It is always something with music or athletics that now in my life I feel are completely out of reach or unrealistic for my values now.
I won’t sugar coat it at all, while filling out the workbook on the values section, I got completely depressed to see how my values have changed so much. I mean the most cynical responses you could think are most likely what I wrote. I am at that point where I have been dealing in complete realism. Money is very important because without it there is no way to escape the mundane and do what you love to do. I have also said to people who have asked what I want to do, that I would do anything I could care less about enjoying work as long as it affords me the time and finances to do whatever I want in my free time.
So I know this has been pretty long winded and the actual question is unclear, so I will try to pose what I am actually looking for here.
Is there a way to find my passion again? Instead of feeling numb and not caring what I do? Or a way to not look at the whole career subject and finding work as just a way to have the finances to live?