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Rachel E

Hey Samantha,

It’s understandable that you feel torn! It sounds like you’re dealing with something that many of us struggle with — wanting “it all,” but feeling like you can’t have it all at the same time.

So, one of the ways I like to look at big life questions is to zoom WAY far out and ask myself, “What would I regret NOT having done when I’m 80?” Like, when I’m really old and thinking back on my life, what things would seem silly to me for having done/not done?

Would your 80-year-old self want you to stay in PR, given how you feel about it right now? What would she have to say about having a baby later than you may have originally foreseen? What would she say about buying a house and traveling? Honestly, it may be good to write down a back-and-forth conversation with yourself on this! Channel your inner wise old woman and have a chat with yourself about what matters to you, and what’s worth it, and what makes life worth living, in the end.

That said, I wonder if you need to explore the dietician route more. Right now, it sounds like you’re pretty sure it’s going to take 5 years. And that’s a long time, for sure! But could there be other programs that are similar, but don’t eat up so much time? Maybe there’s a way to express your passion for this subject, just in a different way that isn’t so time-consuming. I would exhaust ALL of your options before assuming that pursuing your passion will take up that much time. Because maybe it doesn’t have to be as “either/or” as you’re assuming right now.

Also, keep this in mind — If you’re not happy in your career, which is where you spend the majority if your waking hours, having a house and a baby may or may not “make up” for the lack of fulfillment you feel at work. It may put more stress on you and your relationship — “Now I HAVE to stay in this career that I don’t love, and I feel even more trapped, because now I have a mortgage and a kid and I can’t easily escape.” In general, I’d always recommend thinking long and hard before committing to a path that you already know doesn’t light you up, because you think it’s the only way to get other things that you want out of life. I’m a big believer that we can always find a way to have BOTH. It may not be all at the same time, and it may require more creative thinking, stretching, and experimenting, but having everything you want IS possible.

Let me know what you think! 🙂